Monday, March 24, 2008

Grizzly Adams and f*(cking snow!

So, I wander all unassuming into the bathroom to take a soak and I notice that my chin looks a bit fuzzy.

Weird, I lean in closer and I swear to god, there was a chia pet on my chin! WTF? The lighting on the farm is not THAT bad.

I may be exaggerating the tiniest bit about the chia pet. But that is how it felt. My hormones must be having Kappa Luau or something because some strange things are happening in who-ville. Oooh, has anyone seen Horton Hears a Who? I think I’m going to pull a marathon movie day this week, one day in the middle of the day I’m going to hunker down in the movie theater and hop around until I’ve caught up on all my pop culture. I want to see Horton, Be Kind Rewind, and a bunch of other stuff I don’t thnk about until I go passing by a movieplex. I want it all.

I was reading Joy Luck Club earlier today and in it there was a passage where they were talking about the fighting in Kweilin in the 40s, as Japan invaded China (again) and destroyed everything it could get its hands on (again). So, thousands died because the Kuomantang refused to acknowledge the advancing Japanese presence and kept printing out newspapers saying everything was fine. And 50 years after the war, people from outside the province had no idea what had happened and were shocked to learn of the war, the destruction etc. I thought, "that is so gangster." Generally, I think the Chinese are gangster anyway. I mean, there are few media savvy western adults who don’t have the image of the lone student standing in front of the tank from the early 90s but ask an adult of the same age from China - not a thing. Blank expression. Never saw it, never heard about the student protests - nada. Gangster.

However, the U.S. is pretty gangster, too. If for no other reason to learn what we are up to, i think Americans should leave the country and listen in on the conversations of other English-speaking people. That’s not hard. You can go to the Caribbean and sit on a semi-secluded beach and hear people relating the miles of misanthropy our government gets up to in the name of the American people. I don’t hate. I just like to have an idea of what my cultural identity means in the larger arena on the off chance that, oh, i don’t know, someone invades and proverbial chickens come home to roost.

It snowed today and got real cold, real fast. Who saw that coming? Not I.

Well, that’s enough of my rambling.

Sweet heart, bitter heart, now I can’t tell you apart. ~ Feist

Sunday, March 23, 2008

When I die...

I'm going to come back and haunt the fuck out of you people - seen on a t-shirt.

That made me laugh long and hard. Another thing that made me laugh - watching TWO separate dogs eat horseshit. Yeah, really. It happens. They love that stuff. Smack it up like a delicacy. I so don't understand, but I'll keep it in the mental rolodex for future reference. I suppose it helps that horses eat whole grains and are vegetarian. I don't know. I'll have to think about this some more.

Today is Easter and i went to the onion to pirate my favorite Jesus-the-Easter-Bunny photo and this is what I found instead:

It cracked me up. Way to distill the facts and throw a spin. Do you know how few people that are boomers understand spin as an integral, farcical part of life? The things we take for granted as gen x, y, and beyond are just too touchy for *most* boomers. There are notable exceptions and I have the good luck to know most of them. But lately I've been running into boomers who wouldn't know a good time if it walked up and beat them about the head a bit. It's sad, really it is.

Oh well, I can't find the Jesus the Easter Bunny pic. So sad. It's terribly funny, but they put it out in the late-90s. Still, I bet I could find it if I really tried. It was classic.

Well, I wish you all a happy easter and whatnot.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Girl, get your boogie on


Why am I so excited? I have no idea, not really, not unless you count the fact that I made a FANTASTIC meal, listened to Zap Mama, ate my fantastic meal and had a run-in with yet another person at my j-o-b and walked away full of that certain je n’ais ce quoi - perspective.

You know, that thing I lacked before - perspective? As in, yeah, this person is difficult and petty and really not that bright, but that’s okay because in the end everything is going to be o-kay! I pissed someone off today and I got yelled at, and I didn’t like that part very much, but in the grand scheme of things - well, I got a better understanding of the dynamics and people involved.

I have to give it to the visigoth, he actually does get people pretty well. I thought maybe he was just being flippant when he predicted that our latest addition would be flying the coop soon-ish (he’s betting 30 days or less), but now I realize it’s true. Before I just couldn’t believe someone who seemed so well-intentioned would just throw in the towel and never even bother to explore the possibilities, but it’s true, our latest addition won’t. Doesn’t care to. It’s a personality/life thing. If things don’t fall into this person’s lap, and quickly, then everything is wrong and life is terrible.

Can’t do too much with that. One of those things, you know, can’t make the unhappy happy. I used to say that I liked dating people who were hardwired to be assholes and now I can say that I can’t see a flight risk if it’ standing in front of me, waving arms about and lacing up the trainers. Upon reflection I realize I can’t tell the people who will stick with me in life either. Houston, we have a blind spot! Maybe I’m inherently shallow and thus incapable of comprehending the deeper, more meaningful things in life. What an impediment. I shall struggle on bravely, though. Good for the soul, soldiering on.

Did I mention my cousin’s wedding? My new profile photo is from the wedding. It was great. Saw family I haven’t seen in 20 years. We all look basically the same and I trust that I’ll be a fab-o older lady, if a little crotchety, judging by my aunts and uncles. All the family babies are damn near grown now. And cute. Ma famile!

Okay, now I must go critique some writing. This weekend I have to re-work my writing for another submission. Wish me luck.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

See how I came Up...

See how I came Up...
The pressing issues in life: money, available sunlight, and water...don’t sleep, those are the important things. I was thinking last night, after about 8 hours of sleep with 7 remaining, that it would only take a day or two of darkness to make the human eye extremely sensitive to light. I then thought of the mole people - I can’t recall if they were just a movie or real people. I think they were real people, a study in inbreeding or maybe just people with funky dna. Either way, they would be kings in a sunlight-bereft world. The blind would also have distinct advantages.

Has anyone ever read Blindness by Jose Saramago? That is the scariest book. It’s all about a disease that sweeps through society leaving everyone blind with a few exceptions. Three-quarters of the book is an examination of the hierarchies and evils humans visit upon one another - even when everyone is stricken with disease. It’s crazy as hell. Rape figures prominently.

Someone in my writing class submitted a "rape story." I didn’t even feel like going there. I think it would be far more interesting to me if men wrote rape stories about men. I don’t like the idea of a man writing a rape story - there is something offputting in that. But let him write a story exploring the emotions and reactions of another man who is getting raped and I’d put money on the story carrying far greater significance than the same story about a woman written by a man.

I may posit that idea to my classmate. He’s the deeply annoying type, too much time in the closet as a child or maybe not enough. Either way, he’s just enough of an annoyance that I wouldn’t mind suggesting - hey why dont you make your protagonist a man and play out the rape scene that way? I’ll report back if he responds.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Frequence Trois

Frequence Trois
I have tried three times to go the same doggone restaurant down the street from my house and it’s just not working. What to do? Try again, perhaps?

Today i don’t feel altogether hot. I had a few glasses of wine over the weekend, so maybe this is a delayed hangover, I dunno, all I know is that I’m not feeling so fresh or so clean, clean. I think maybe pulling 12-hour days twice last week at work was not the hottest idea I’ve ever had. I need to empower myself with taxi money and be out when it’s time to be out. On the reals.

And stay hydrated. And eat regularly instead of failing to eat for all twelve of those hours that I work. And go to bed at a reasonable hour since I wake up early so as to get into the office before the staff.

Oh, and I have to stop listening to the b.s. the docs are playing. All of these games! Who has the time? Life is too short and entirely too wide to have people playing games with your time. Appropriately, "Free My Mind" by Arrested Development (anyone remember them?) is playing on Frequence Trois, Radio Paris!!! I miss that city, Paris is a great city. I know no one likes the french police, but they are as susceptible to flirtation as anyone. Smiles and winks abound.

Now I’m on a mission to go to Turkey for the summer to see my homegirl get hitched. Oh, yeah, that’s why I might be hungover. I went to my cousin’s wedding this weekend. It’s was really fun and pleasant, only in part because a fair-sized chunk of my paternal family showed up (we don’t hang out much) and the crazy was up-front-and-center. There is the aunt who reminded me every time I talked to her that i was retarded and so were both of my parents (all love, all the tme), the uncle who is a preacher with 30 kids, all manner of parents who have gotten divorced but showed up in unity, bitter kids of aforementioned divorces etc. etc. etc. Great. And good cheese. What more can a girl ask for? And a scat of college and pro football players who were on their good behavior. The football wives sat behind me at the ceremony and they were a fresh riot. Loud! Precious, though. I do not envy those women. Big dudes...

As my cousin L.S. said, "wow, we’re a pretty family." my response, "yeah, pretty and crazy as hell. those are our calling cards.’ she looked shocked and I had to ask her if she could imagine how boring her life would be if she weren’t crazy as batshit? she allowed as she truly could not and my point was proven. crazy adds spice to life. and as with everything, moderation is important.

well, tomorrow i get my new slate of books. I’ve been on a buying spree, which is funny because i don’t have excess funding available to me, but well, i don’t really care either. I keep asking myself why I’m feeling so liberal when it’s obvious the country is in a recession and everything and all i can think of is "i’m alive. i’m healthy. i’m happy. i love my life. why not get the stuff i want and need?" so to that end, i’m ordering and buying books and trying absorb new ideas about my craft of writing and my vocation of medical practice management. it’s a fair spot of information between the two fields, nevermind the places where they overlap. *whew* this could be another part of the reason i’m exhausted. but really, i’m going to put a lot of that on the physician politicking and jockeying that has been going on. I find myself talking to myself (not unusual, but i tend to prefer lighter subject matter) as I debate what is happening around me.

It’s never good to feel as though everything is happening *to* you and I think I’m at that point. Which means I’ll be happening to some folks in the near future. i’ll keep ya’ll posted.

i need to update my netflix queue!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I feel pretty, oh so pretty

I went to work today ya’ll. Yes I did. And I wore some cuuuuuute clothes. I mean, the people in my office were agog, I was so cute. And I felt good. So good.

It was great, too, I did some stuff, I didn’t feel all cloudy and crazed (it’s amazing how good you can feel when you’re not living life on major painkillers - bigup to the dimming properties of morphine!)

Of course, the folks at the office are two-plus-crazy-as-hell. They were fun to watch, one lady actually doesn’t speak to me. This is old hat to me, though, there was once another lady who didn’t speak to me, too. So, I just ran her over a few times (she’s short), embarassed her once (she was being rude), and had a great day in general. I think she cried a few times (had nothing to do with me, I swear). It’s kind of like grammar, (work with me on this one), if you break the rules because you don’t know them there isn’t nearly the effect of breaking them on purpose despite knowing them. There is skill and stupidity, guess who is operating from the latter?

Ah well, leopards and spots and all that. I’m missing my grandmother right now and scheming on how I can go see her. I bought a new dress today and now The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is on. I love this movie. I know it was panned by the critics, but haters beware! The movie is damn fine.

Oh and my friend Beff sent me the most ignorant video in the world with this ghetto preacher who is reading from (i shit you not) the Yellow Pages, insisting it is actually a bible and he calls the congregation Bitches. For real.

I think that is a good note to end a post on. A preacher calling the congregation bitches. Yeah Bitches!!!

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

A world full of questions and no answers

A world full of questions and no answers
Well, I've stepped off the deep end and gone shopping online - again. New retailer, though, I was in the mood for some BCBGMaxAzria. Actually, I was watching the Project Runway finale and they were offering 30 bucks off and designs by season 4 winner Christian Siriano and I just had to get my hot little hands on some of his pencil leg pants and a ruffly shirt. Rami Kashou's designs also please me. I'd love to wear his stuff, I mean, i would crash many a party and swing from the chandeliers in his designs all night long.

I did a bad job of straightening my hair this afternoon. I'm now watching Death at a Funeral and this ish is absolutely out of control. A midget in a casket, LSD mixed with ketamine, people trippin' balls left right and's gets laugh-out-loud funny about halfway through and builds to the funny for the first half.

Classes are going well. Politics in the office are building and reaching their boiling point. The thing is - they can boil for quite a while so I just have to keep my hand out of the pot and tend to my own endeavors otherwise I get stressed and distracted. No point in me joining the multitude of unhappy people.

have you ever noticed that people make their own misery? There are some things that are appropriately misery inducing. Death. Illness. Emotional and mental trauma. Childhood. Pop music. But there are a lot of people who complain a whole, whole lot in life. They don't do anything to fix whatever is wrong with them, they refuse to acknowledge small or large things that can be adjusted in order to experience the happiness they crave - instead they complain that happiness does not fall in their laps.

Newsflash, happiness is a choice. You just make up your mind. And then you work toward keeping that happiness. Anything that makes you happy, you focus on. Anything that compromises your happiness, you avoid like the plague. It's all good.

Well, enough sermonizing from me. I got a cherry red cashmere t-shirt and a chocolate jersey wrap dress in case you were wondering.


Monday, March 03, 2008

Brush with Infamy

Brush with Infamy
happy tuesday snitches!

okay, check this out:

I love it. I have a lab coat that has the nametag "Dr. E. Genius, Ph.D" embroidered on. I wear it all the time at work and i just don't pay attention as people read it. this one guy ( a doctah, wouldn't you know it) actually asked me how to 'pronounce (my) last name' and whether it was french.

yes. i said yes. it was french. pronounced "jean-ous." i'm still laughing. Like, did NO ONE else ever watch cartoons or read comic books as a kid and now they can't get the joke. Dr. Evil Genius, Ph.d. hullo!

So, one of my friends claims to be in a corner, babbling incoherently to herself, having been driven mad by her job. Another friend has an ex calling who always asks for money. It's that time of the year. i'm just putting the information out there - it's the time of the year for EX-FEST. Yes, the exes come out of hibernation with the spring, all the major holidays are gone and (usually) so are their steady dummies - i mean partners - so they want to go through the rolodex in their minds and make sure someone out there is still pining for them. it doesn't matter if you say, "oh, you're still alive?" when you get the phone call during Ex-Fest, they keep on comin'. Of late i've been contacted by people I don't even remember. This is no great big achievement, considering the number of brain cells I've sacrificed to the greater good, but really, i don't recognize these people.

And I know I've slept with them cause of the way they approach me. Yet, i don't recall them. At all. big blank. Or, say, someone I was terribly fond of once upon a time forever ago and they contact me, but I'm no longer fond of them. I mean, it was a LIFETIME AGO. So now, he is reaching out and I'm wondering "does this person honestly expect a reply? Like, for really?"

it's too bad, no one gets replies. You have to ask yourself, "what do I have to talk to this person about?" And then you have to be honest with yourself. Did you do much talking before? Was it based on a shared experience or a particular point in time? If so, ya'll don't have anything else to talk about. Shit's over. Experience has passed and the point in time may exist in a parallel dimension, but it's way past gone in this one.

The Times has a good story about choice and how difficult it is for people to limit their choices even if they have empirical evidence that limiting their choices will make them more successful. Ah well. Such is life. Who needs that many choices for anything? Or that many people to recall on a semi-regular basis. its' better not to remember.