Yeah, I suck

I did actually write a post yesterday, and the day before. But both days i was feeling emotionally upheaved and didn't post. I lost interest. you know it was bad when I just couldn't bring myself to write anything, anywhere. It was all very maudlin and tacky. I'm on the tail-end of it now, mostly I want to indulge in a couple of krispy kreme donuts and hang out with fun people whom I like.

I rearranged my living room last night. I love moving furniture, creating a new pattern within the confines of the structure. I like to say "change your hair, change your life" but I also believe in "change your furniture, change your life."

I think I've had a nasty case of inertia. I was doing alright, then, late last week the visigoth got all Visigoth-ish on me. He was "going through something" and since that is a rare occurrence and not particularly descriptive, it mostly came off as the prelude to a breakup. Please imagine how distressing this was to me on at least two levels. We have been so happy and then suddenly I had this surly, snarling mess on my hands. Apparently we are not breaking up, so after that was established, I needed a little "fall apart" time. Cause, um, whenever someone starts throwing crazy signals, I mostly get busy catching. The practical parts of breaking up I am quite adept at handling - housing, dissolution of financial whatevers, getting scarce for at least a year for the purpose of "healing" on both sides. The nice "I've just been through a breakup and travel is necessary" trips to new lands. I'm very good at all of that.

Anywho, that's all water under the proverbial bridge. Just the reason I've not been writing. Now I am, as my Jamaican colleague says, "trying to find some ambition." Until recently I have been chock-full of ambition, brimming with ambition, bubbling over with ambition. I suppose part of the problem is that I appear to be battling another (again, i mean good GAWD) infection. How is it that I went through a year of major surgeries, lived on a farm and played with the animals and generally made a nuisance of myself, but didn't get a single infection or side effect or take medication BUT now I have three infections of increasing strength and potency in one month?

Well, I think this is enough catch-up for all of us. I shall totter off and find some lunch and ya'll will do...whatever it is you do.

Do it well