This type-A of mine...

This type-A of mine...
I'm gonna let it shine! Let it shine, let it shine, let it shiiiiiiinnnnne.

Yeah. I'm back. Had a whirly-girl day. Ended up sobbing in the car out of sheer frustration and (more than likely) seriously lowered blood sugar. But a lot of frustration. I'm a results girl, I don't do so well with dithering. I'm not all that particular about the result being perceived as good or bad cause if I don't like a result I can always - *gasp* - make another decision and get out of a situation.

The visigoth, on the other hand, wants the universe to show a clear path on every decision is content as all outdoors to w.a.i.t for that dove with the olive branch, or the yellow brick road, or Shiva to appear with all his arms pointing the way. Shit's crucial. And deeply disturbing.

So, then, this evening I had to have a reckoning with myself. I had to further accept that the visigoth's behavior is unacceptable to me on many levels. And I've run out patience for my first line of defense, which was to agree with him and support him in his glacially-paced decision-making process. Phase One is dead in the water.

Phase two means risking more and feeling better in general. I'm going to start decorating my new office, if I have to take my ish back home then so be it, but at least I can get moving on doing something. It's not even impatience as much as it's total lack of understanding and an emptied basket full of empathy for the indecisive.

Note to the world: I can't stand indecision. For real. I'm the friend who will tell the waiter to wait an extra 10 minutes before approaching the table, then COACH my meal-mate through deciding on something. I find out my companion's likes and dislikes, then I cut out everything on the menu that they won't like, narrow the field to 3 items, propose them (one is always an outlier, one is always something I plan to get, and the other is what I think they will order based on history/conversation). I talk them through the menu. They whole time I'm casually sipping my wine or water or whatever. I'm smiling, I'm relaxed. I'm a pro.

I'm not totally unfamiliar with indecision. I feel conflicted a fair amount and need to mull things over and get settled with them. I just tend to do these things well in advance of a decision being necessary. Failing to make a decision is a decision in itself and leaves one vulnerable to the desires of others. That sucks.

You know, I was going through this with the visigoth last month, too. Then it was whether to chunk a business associate. He malingered for - ah - 4 good months. IF he could do that now, he'd be happy. It's actually quite funny because after I've done all manner of behind-the-scenes manipulations (yes, I said it, I'm a fucking Scorpio and I manipulate situations!) and much brow-beating, he had the temerity to tell me how good he was at making decisions. My. Ass.

So, hahaha, laughs all around. Mr. Can't Make a Decision lauds himself on not making a decision and having one made for him. Claim it.