That’s mighty white of you boys!

That’s mighty white of you boys!
For the love of God.

I had to have security take a man AND HIS CHILDREN out of my office today. No shit. I am not pulling your (collective) leg(s). This cat has been coming by the office daily and harassing the staff to track down the boss. For no discernible reason. Apparently he used to come by on social calls and peddle the occasional art piece. I may have one hanging in my house, as a matter of fact, it's not a favorite, I'm just holding it for someone.

So, my receptionist comes to me and tells me he's shown up, then relates how he came by every day last week. The kicker is, he's brought his family with him. Huh? So I ask here if he's for an appointment, is one of the kids sick? I'm all prepared to make sure the child sees a doctor. No problem.

But, yes problem. The kids aren't sick. I ask my boss if he wants to see this cat and he's like "I'm busy. He needs to make an appointment. I've told him this for years." Memo to readers (and self) if you tell someone something and they ignore you, stop dealing with them immediately. Just stop. That'll learn 'em.

So, i step out and speak to the guy. I tell him he needs an appointment. I offer him a date and time. In short order he calls me a two-faced, double-barrel liar and refuses to leave the office. Being logical and really not giving a flying fuck, I declare "Well, since you refuse to accept that you need an appointment, I have nothing else to discuss with you," turn and walk toward the backoffice door. Before I know what is happening he is nearly on top of me growling and gesticulating wildly. Color me surprised.

He's going on and on - and he has to because his accent is thick and it takes me a while to catch what he's saying - about how I have disrespected him in front of his children and he's a provider for his family and I've disrespected him. So, I look around him into the faces of his kids. They are mortified. Ashamed. I feel for them. Parents are embarrassing by breathing, but this is beyond. I apologize to the kids and offer a smile. This sets him off anew, how DARE I address his children, I'm insulting, I'm blah blah blah yaddda bing bang. I extract myself from the situation by saying "I have heard you now. Thank you." Then I lock the door behind me.

I ream my boss. He's bewildered. He doesn't do well with confrontation. I don't do well with nearly being assaulted. I tell him I plan to call security and he looks blank, grabs another chart and darts into an exam room. This leaves me in a bit of a quandary. If I call security will he consider it overstepping my bounds? If I don't, am I leaving my staff and patients in an unnecessarily vulnerable position? So, I mull this over and wait for the seething rage to subside a little, just so I can think clearly.

Seething rage can take a while, so I call for advice. Then based on the advice, I call security. They arrive and tell the guy he needs to leave after I explain he's been sitting in our office for over an hour and has been asked to leave. He refuses. He laughs at them and mocks them as rent-a-cops. They waste no time calling the Police Department. My god, why do things have to get this far? With the announcement that the police have been called, he finds it prudent to leave the office, children trailing after him (4 of them, maybe five). He tries standing outside the office in the hallway and is escorted away, out of the building entirely.

Upon his departure the mood in the office changes entirely from one of controlled stress into laughter. Amazing. The staff starts telling me about the guy, how well he used to dress, how he used to even smell good. They think he may have been just successful enough to get into trouble - drugs, gambling the usual vices. Now he's desperate and not a little unhinged. Bad news.

But here's my point: He was willing to humiliate his children, use them as cheap and tawdry pawns for some unknown end and then he screamed that I was disrespectful of him as a father. You have got to be fucking kidding me. I thought about this a lot while ruminating and waiting for the rage to subside. I wanted to find something redeeming in his behavior, something that supported him wanting to present himself as a father worthy of praise. I thought about all the times I accompanied my parents to work, I really stretched to say that if the family was on hard times, or he didn't trust his kids to be home, or if the family was homeless...but I couldn't make it happen for myself. I could not justify his behavior and I certainly tried.

Feel free to share you many and varied perspectives. Or just share a lugh.