I got Fan Mail!!!

I got fan mail!
Okay, really, it's just a letter from right before my first surgery where my cousin told me that she really hates all I stand for, I'm an asshole etc. etc. and I'm lazy. But it's a good read. If you want someone to hurt you, bring them in close - that way they can look in your eyes while they cut you. Et tu, Brute? There's a bit at the end about notifying family, which would lead me to continue to keep this private, but since it was also sent to about 15 email addresses I didn't recognize i figure it's public domain. Enjoy!

"Now I am angry. To clarify, I have no problems dealing with people with illnesses. I do have problems dealing with people with bad attitudes and illnesses. You really need to understand that it is not OK to treat people who care about you and who you supposedly care about as if they are disposable. You chose to have one of your attitude attacks on me and I chose not to accept it or dance around you when you did, pure and simple. You can blame it on drugs, you can blame it on endometriosis, you can blame it on whatever makes you feel better about justifying your behavior. Just because you don't feel well, does not justify or make treating others badly, being condescending, etc. acceptable.

Oh. And I would appreciate it if you would discontinue notifying family about my perceived 'issues'. That last sentence was also probably one of the most passive aggressive things you've ever pulled and extremely hurtful. I love you to pieces but as far as I'm concerned this is not worth it anymore. You need help, you need a higher power. Go find it. Best of luck with yourself. I'm out.

"I wondered long and hard how you could keep refusing to see grandpa for the months he was in the hospital." - Camille

Did you conveniently forget that at that time I too was as disabled as you are now but dealing with fibroids which had been misdiagnosed for a year and was informed by the surgeon post surgery he'd never seen a woman with that many fibroids who was able to walk, I was on narcotic pain killers 24-7 and had been for months. Seeing Grandpa so ill stressed me out so bad I was bedridden for days afterward, if anyone realizes the direct link between stress and pelvic pain it should be you, I was only 20 years old and fully self-sufficient. I was in contact with Dad and Grandma and Peach and Lamar the ENTIRE time. I am sorry you see that as REFUSING to see him. Unlike you, I didn't have anyone taking care of me and I had a mortgage, was living off of 60% of my salary, on disability had huge medical bills because i paid for my specialist outright and was just trying to survive, the only reason the surgery was paid for by insurance was because of the Godsend in our Cousin Cookie who worked in the surgeons office.

I think you have turned into a self-centered, arrogant, unappreciative, lazy young woman who likes to hide behind multi-syllabic words, books, her illness and a crappy attitude which you somehow justify as OK.

Also, I would appreciate it if you would try to be a bit nicer to my God Father, I have NO idea how he puts up with you, but you might want to try being nice every once in a while, it does wonders for relationships. And yes, if i'm going to say it, i'm going to say it all. I was happy that you were happy but I do find it incredibly inappropriate to be dating my God Father. I think you took advantage of a convenient situation. I often wonder how long you'll really stick around. I think you often wonder how long you'll really stick around. I've been the quiet moderator and secret keeper for years but enough is enough already. You treat him like crap, I've watched you treat him like crap. I refuse to continue watching you treat him like crap. Yes, you've done wonders for the office and everyone can see that. You need to get healthy, get happy and then re-find your feet and start building a nest of your own, be self sufficient, be gainfully employed in a profession you enjoy. You have all the tools, just do it.

And since you are so intent on continuing to 'notify' family. I'll do it for you right now. Good luck and God Bless