Birds Are Out To Get Me

Not actually. I'm listening to Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman. He is a recurring theme in my blog, isn't he? Just the same, one of the characters just said "Birds Are Out to Get Me" and in truth they are out to get him.

Just over a year ago, they were out to get me, too. There I was, enjoying the warm Orlando sun at Disneyworld, buying a yummy Churro from a vendo near It's a Small World and there was a great flapping of wings and batting of something heavy and unforgiving across my forehead. Then my Churro was on the ground and three seagulls tore it into three pieces and flew away sqawking with victory.

To my credit, I did not cry. I was merely stunned into silence and trembled violently until a very nice janitor came over (having witnessed the entire traumatizing event) and fetched me a new Churro and reassured me the seagulls had gotten their fill and would not be back. Incidentally, they did not sream "Mine Mine Mine" in english as they did in Finding Nemo.

The truly sad part of this story is that I spent at least 12 years of my extreme youth in Florida, laughing none-too-kindly at snowbirds who brought picnic baskets to the beach only to be set upon by a crazy flock of mafioso seagulls. It was practically a pasttime: Suntanning and watching seagulls in killing mode.

Now, I'm a snowbird, or something incredibly close, too loose with my churro and all the sorrier for the experience. however, there is some consolation in the fact that I own a couple of gold teeth (if you look closely at my latest profile pick you can see them gleam on the left side of my mouth).

I think I will spend the rest of the week playing dress-up. My doctor has declared I'm no longer allowed to drive as *technically* I drive as a functional druggie. I'll be cabbing and training it for the next 4 weeks - I'll probably see more. Just today I took my very first walk around my neighborhood. It was amazing. People were friendly and lots of other people were out walking. They've been gentrifying and the crackheads are losing their toehold on the community. I even had marriage proposed by a nice homeless guy who swore blind he would change his ways and become the man I needed him to be. I do enjoy casual marriage proposals. It's no secret I like getting married, the staying matrimonied is something else entirely, but the wedding party is just fun like no other. New clothes, lots of friends, singing, dnacing, drinking, eating obscene amounts of food - ah, a good party!

In fact, I think I'll plan a pre-surgery party at a local club. Good way to get out of the house and actually see a nightclub in Atlanta. I'll be the sober one weaving in my chair, hopefully all of you who are of age (little sisters not welcome!) will be in attendance. Otherwise, I'll throw another Post-op Party in Europe sometime around Christmas. All my European friends can come to that.

Well, now we have plans. And I have a surgery date. April 17th. Remember me that day, I'll remind you closer to the date.