Grizzly Adams and f*(cking snow!

So, I wander all unassuming into the bathroom to take a soak and I notice that my chin looks a bit fuzzy.

Weird, I lean in closer and I swear to god, there was a chia pet on my chin! WTF? The lighting on the farm is not THAT bad.

I may be exaggerating the tiniest bit about the chia pet. But that is how it felt. My hormones must be having Kappa Luau or something because some strange things are happening in who-ville. Oooh, has anyone seen Horton Hears a Who? I think I’m going to pull a marathon movie day this week, one day in the middle of the day I’m going to hunker down in the movie theater and hop around until I’ve caught up on all my pop culture. I want to see Horton, Be Kind Rewind, and a bunch of other stuff I don’t thnk about until I go passing by a movieplex. I want it all.

I was reading Joy Luck Club earlier today and in it there was a passage where they were talking about the fighting in Kweilin in the 40s, as Japan invaded China (again) and destroyed everything it could get its hands on (again). So, thousands died because the Kuomantang refused to acknowledge the advancing Japanese presence and kept printing out newspapers saying everything was fine. And 50 years after the war, people from outside the province had no idea what had happened and were shocked to learn of the war, the destruction etc. I thought, "that is so gangster." Generally, I think the Chinese are gangster anyway. I mean, there are few media savvy western adults who don’t have the image of the lone student standing in front of the tank from the early 90s but ask an adult of the same age from China - not a thing. Blank expression. Never saw it, never heard about the student protests - nada. Gangster.

However, the U.S. is pretty gangster, too. If for no other reason to learn what we are up to, i think Americans should leave the country and listen in on the conversations of other English-speaking people. That’s not hard. You can go to the Caribbean and sit on a semi-secluded beach and hear people relating the miles of misanthropy our government gets up to in the name of the American people. I don’t hate. I just like to have an idea of what my cultural identity means in the larger arena on the off chance that, oh, i don’t know, someone invades and proverbial chickens come home to roost.

It snowed today and got real cold, real fast. Who saw that coming? Not I.

Well, that’s enough of my rambling.

Sweet heart, bitter heart, now I can’t tell you apart. ~ Feist

When I die...

I'm going to come back and haunt the fuck out of you people - seen on a t-shirt.

That made me laugh long and hard. Another thing that made me laugh - watching TWO separate dogs eat horseshit. Yeah, really. It happens. They love that stuff. Smack it up like a delicacy. I so don't understand, but I'll keep it in the mental rolodex for future reference. I suppose it helps that horses eat whole grains and are vegetarian. I don't know. I'll have to think about this some more.

Today is Easter and i went to the onion to pirate my favorite Jesus-the-Easter-Bunny photo and this is what I found instead:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/black_guy_asks_nation_for_change

It cracked me up. Way to distill the facts and throw a spin. Do you know how few people that are boomers understand spin as an integral, farcical part of life? The things we take for granted as gen x, y, and beyond are just too touchy for *most* boomers. There are notable exceptions and I have the good luck to know most of them. But lately I've been running into boomers who wouldn't know a good time if it walked up and beat them about the head a bit. It's sad, really it is.

Oh well, I can't find the Jesus the Easter Bunny pic. So sad. It's terribly funny, but they put it out in the late-90s. Still, I bet I could find it if I really tried. It was classic.

Well, I wish you all a happy easter and whatnot.

Girl, get your boogie on

Wooooo-hooooooo!!!!

Why am I so excited? I have no idea, not really, not unless you count the fact that I made a FANTASTIC meal, listened to Zap Mama, ate my fantastic meal and had a run-in with yet another person at my j-o-b and walked away full of that certain je n’ais ce quoi - perspective.

You know, that thing I lacked before - perspective? As in, yeah, this person is difficult and petty and really not that bright, but that’s okay because in the end everything is going to be o-kay! I pissed someone off today and I got yelled at, and I didn’t like that part very much, but in the grand scheme of things - well, I got a better understanding of the dynamics and people involved.

I have to give it to the visigoth, he actually does get people pretty well. I thought maybe he was just being flippant when he predicted that our latest addition would be flying the coop soon-ish (he’s betting 30 days or less), but now I realize it’s true. Before I just couldn’t believe someone who seemed so well-intentioned would just throw in the towel and never even bother to explore the possibilities, but it’s true, our latest addition won’t. Doesn’t care to. It’s a personality/life thing. If things don’t fall into this person’s lap, and quickly, then everything is wrong and life is terrible.

Can’t do too much with that. One of those things, you know, can’t make the unhappy happy. I used to say that I liked dating people who were hardwired to be assholes and now I can say that I can’t see a flight risk if it’ standing in front of me, waving arms about and lacing up the trainers. Upon reflection I realize I can’t tell the people who will stick with me in life either. Houston, we have a blind spot! Maybe I’m inherently shallow and thus incapable of comprehending the deeper, more meaningful things in life. What an impediment. I shall struggle on bravely, though. Good for the soul, soldiering on.

Did I mention my cousin’s wedding? My new profile photo is from the wedding. It was great. Saw family I haven’t seen in 20 years. We all look basically the same and I trust that I’ll be a fab-o older lady, if a little crotchety, judging by my aunts and uncles. All the family babies are damn near grown now. And cute. Ma famile!

Okay, now I must go critique some writing. This weekend I have to re-work my writing for another submission. Wish me luck.