The big white dog & vodka gimlets

LOL.

Ya'll are fools. Maya wants to know if I'm happy to see her if that's just a big ass dog in my pocket and Exodus gives me a tongue-in-cheek lecture about bleaching defenseless animals.

Tink - as I call her - is just pale as all hell. She found the family a few months back. Actually, she found the chickens on the farm and was hell bent to get her some wings and drumsticks, but I was outside and (i use this word very liberally since walking was not my strong point) chased her away. She just kind of hung around. My stepmom tried to run her off. No dice.

Fast forward a few hours and the little sister gets home dark-ish. We mention there is a ghost dog outside hellbent on eating Robin and the girls and she becomes obsessed with seeing said ghost dog. She trots out with the father and they capture said ghost dog and bring her in. She's thin and, we suspect, abandoned. Oh, she's also batshit crazy. Everything looks like food to her (cept the humans, we disabuse her of that notion with alacrity).

One day she gets loose and runs straight for the horses. Sure, they outweigh her by 1100 pounds and 15 feet, but she's a huntin' dog dammit and she's gonna get some horsemeat! Well, they kicked her little ass around like a soccer ball. Ever see horses play soccer? Probably not, just imagine Ronaldo, Beckham, and any other fancy-footed futbol player having at a ball with three of his best mates. Yeah, she was the ball. Hilarious. She could have died. But, you have to give it to Tink, the girl has moxie and she wouldn't give up. She was gonna hve some horsemeat if it killed her (nearly did too).

My dad had taken up teaching her a very nasty trick of taking your hand into her mouth but she doesn't have enough self control to NOT bite the holy hell out of you in the process. That merited some re-training of dog and father. She's a good friend, though. Very curious and intelligent and likes to talk. She's also funny to watch, highly destructive and still inordinately interested in the chickens. Quietly, though, I can't hate on her about the chickens. They look like walking roasters as far as I'm concerned.

Is anyone else out there enamored of vodka gimlets? Vodka and lime juice, does get any simpler or tastier? So wonderful, especially on a hot summer day when you've decided working is for suckers, and working at a bitch-ass job is for people who don't value their souls as much as you do.

Holla!