Spent the weekend at the house where I pay bills. Also spent the weekend fighting with my sigoth. Oh wait, we weren't fighting, we were having a series of discussions. The latest one ended 6 a.m. yesterday. One long ass discussion, if you ask me. But, hey, the air is at least clearer than it was before.
Now, I'm back in Rehab at The Sanctuary/heavenly acres. I've been hearing from everyone that there are coyotes in the woods around the back acreage, but I've heard no spine-tingling howls and I was looking forward to them, too.
It's deadly late as far as I'm concerned. I have 4 hours of sleep under my belt and I'm super sleepy, but I can't allow myself to relax and go to sleep because someone opened the window in my bedroom and now...there are bugs everywhere. Flying ants, miniature grasshoppers, many other assorted exoskeleton possesssing creatures that fly into your orifices (7 on the face alone!) and require medical intervention. I am anti-Emergency Room at this point in my life.
That phrase, "at this point in my life," reminds me of a song by Tracy Chapman that carries the same title. Some of the lyrics below:
At this point in my life
I've done so many things wrong I don't know if I can do right
If you put your trust in me I hope I won't let you down
If you give me a chance I'll try
You see it's been a hard road the road I'm traveling on
And if I take your hand I might lead you down the path to ruin
I've had a hard life I'm just saying it so you'll understand
That right now, right now, I'm doing the best I can
At this point in my life
Who hasn't felt this way? There end up being so many things in life to apologize for that I gave up a long time ago and decided apologies were useless unless I genuinely hurt someone out of ignorance. But in the end, if we can spend each of our moments doing the best we can, then we can build something worth recalling.
A book "Having it All" by Helen Gurley Brown talks about all the people who will take bits and pieces of a happy, successful person. Of course, leeches will suck your blood even if you're on your last leg and it has gangrene, but helen likes talkinga bout the successful and we'll stick with that subject. She has this phrase I dig, emotional blackmail. How common is that? quite. Passive aggressive emotional blackmail seems to be the way of the world. How come people don't speak honestly to one another and prefer instead to hide the underlying insecurity behind their back(s) and club you over the head with crazy conjecturing?
On a more upbeat note, I'm reading another book on Renaissance Souls. Actually, that's the title. So, it's a career type book, but I love it because it's written for the multitalented or folks who don't think or write in a straight line. I'm one of those. Everything in my life is tangentially related, though I'm the only one who sees the webs that hold pieces of information together. it's very nice to recognize my patterns within a greater picture of multitalented people. I've been quite fortunate, I master things easily and I don't often doubt my passions, but I've definately faced the disapproval of family, friend and employers for getting bored once I've mastered a skill and for wanting to move on to a new, exciting skill, job, love affair etc.
Just killed another bug. It's been a half hour. I think I should try hunting down the remaining members of the Exoskeleton Resistance and get some shut eye. Staying awake is for the birds.
Hmmm. Wish i had a bird to handle all these bugs.
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