I Heart My Ostomy

I have an ileostomy. It's my secret weapon against the onslaught of crazy colo-rectal tissue and health-related misery. I really love my ileostomy. A lot. It's taken the pain out of my life. It's temporary, I'll only keep this little jewel of a medical miracle for 6 months or however long my bowels take to heal, but this is the easiest my life has been since my mid-teens, at least 10 or 15 years.

Oddly enough, I fought having the procedure for the ileostomy. I was a little traumatized by the number of surgeries I'd had, the length of time I'd been in the hospital, the seemingly unending drudgery of being a really sick person. I didn't want to return to the hospital, I was confused by being at home and I very much needed some stability in my life. Thank god for my mother, she was my stability.

It took about 72 hours for me to appreciate the ileostomy. Those first 72 hours I was really, really high on morphine. I didn't want to be bothered with anything, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and all the nurses in the hospital were disappointed to see me back on the floor. There was too much emotion around my return to the hospital. Once I realized that I wasn't going to have crazy pooping problems any more, though, I let go of the morphine and decided to spend some real quality time with the ileostomy. This wacky nurse came by and showed me all about changing my bag and she had about 1000 pet names for the stoma (the bit of the intestine that is pulled through the abdominal skin). She made the ileostomy interesting and cool and even I (still high, but coming down a bit) could tell it would change my life forever.

I find it endlessly amusing that I don't sit on toilets any more. There goes that Hepatitis concern right out the window! I've made some mistakes with my ileostomy and I've only had it for 6 weeks now, still can't sleep on my stomach, and I eat a restricted diet - but my life has changed immeasurably. I have peace of mind. I don't worry about my next bowel movement, if I will bleed or how much it will hurt. I don't have gas. I don't eat to ease my mind, I eat when I'm hungry and when i eat I actually chew my food, which I can't say I did well before. I've been a part of something tremendous, the changing of my entire life.

I'm looking forward to exercising 5 times a week, not just when my whole being doesn't hurt. I look forward to wearing clothes and enjoying the fit and fashion again, not draping myself in surgical scrubs because they touch my abdomen the least. I'm already seizing every day and new adventures because I feel so fortunate to have another chance at life.