Sweet In the Morning
Big Shout Out to Rue for her Photo Exhibit at Lincoln Center. One day I'm gonna stay in her guest house and shag her cabana boy...www.caruchalmeuse.com (yes, i put her on blast, buy a print, you know you wanna).
Well, wasn't today a a day? What did YOU do today? I dismissed an employee, debugged two computers, installed antivirus stuff on them (not norton or mcafee, i hate them both with a purple passion, this program out of ...oz or something).
Then i came home, sneezed around a bit, took a nap, woke up, worked on the house. I don't think I talked to anyone much after the dismissal. I'd been wondering if I would do it today as it was storming (Tornado weather apparently) and I don't go outside in those conditions. Plus, I wasn't sure if I had it in me, then I recalled other dismissals I've done. There have been some pretty amazing (as in, I remain amazed that I actually did it) ones. No details will be given, but suffice to say I endeavor to empower the person walking away from the organization so that they feel they are getting the better end of the deal.
In all honesty, the ending of something almost always is an opportunity to begin something else, something better even, if only we open ourselves to it. I remember when I got fired. I was sitting in bed, post-operative, druggled, scared witless by a big disease with a big name and I got the hatchet. I also got mad as hell. I was not too bothered by being fired, I saw that coming from the day I started working, but they hadn't sent a card or flowers and there I was struggling for my life. And when I looked at the broader situation i.e. the fact that I was struggling for my life, I decided I would focus on living my best life with my big ole disease and fuck the dumb - which included the job and a lot of other things. It was the start to a fantastic year. Sure, I was patchy in terms of health, but i read about 20 books a week, watched double features at an old-timey theatre near my house all the time, met new friends online and saw spaces and places I hadn't had time or energy for before. I dated - a Lot. I developed crushes on completely inappropriate people, saw performances by some of my favorite artists, traveled all the time and enjoyed my little garden apartment in San Francisco.
I spent uninterrupted weeks and months with my friends around the country and my family. It was magical.
I don't disclose all that to people who I'm letting go. But I talk to them, talk with them and listen to them until they can start to see those glimmers - the things they can do when they walk out of the door and not be tied to the phones, the desk, the team...as Dr. Seuss said "All the Places You Will Go." If I can get to the point where the other person says, "You know, I think this is for the best because I just have so much other stuff to be concerned with and it's really been hard for me to even pay attention..." then I've met goal. And the dream begins.
The funny thing is they always come back to share their happiness and success and to see the team. They don't want to see me, I mean, nevermind the pep talks, I'm still the a-hole who gave them the axe. Shit's personal. But they want to see their former coworkers, show off their new clothes, new hair whatever. They want that validation and closure.
What does this have to do with friends? Not a damn thing directlin', but I suppose I could do a quick tie-in: friends are the glue that hold us together when we're falling apart. And when you lose your job, spouse, life-as-you-knew it - friends are what hold it together, give you perspective, voodoo dolls and anything else you need to get through the dark times.
