Alooooohaaaa Everyone!

Live from Somewhere!!!!

(big sigh). I'm here. Somewhere. On vacation. It's perfect. It's great. I'm relieved. I'm having a good time and I'm not bleeding from anywhere I don't expect to be bleeding from.

The air is soft, so soft, it's a lover's kiss all day long. And the sun is so wonderful and warm and welcoming. I did manage to get a sunburn today, but I was outside all day long, wandering around, hitting golfballs, chirping at birds, being thoroughly silly. It was wonderful.

Now I'm back at the place where I sleep and I'm quite sleepy, but I have NEW TECHNOLOGY so I'm up anyway, burning the midnight oil trying to figure out how to get my pics off of the new camera and onto my laptop so they can be sent to other people. I broke down and bought my 3rd new digitral camera. This is major and involves me admitting I will never find the 2nd new digital camera, which was lost in the last move and will never repair the 1st new digital camera, which was my favorite, since it got heat stroke in an unnamed Caribbean island or something like that.

the new camera is fresh. My sideview mirror pic shows the new camera about 2 hours after it was purchased. it's part of the family.

I have a new obsession: Sharks. I just love Shark week on Discovery Channel. I've watched all manner of marine biologists learn to send sharks (even great whites! I've renamed them White Bellies, I'm convinced they are just misunderstood!) into catatonic states of peaceful restfulness by rubbing their snouts. I don't really care too much about the disclaimers, i want to jump in a cage out in the Pacific (it's only a few meters away at that) and start rubbing snouts. That swimming with Dolphins is for wusses, i wanna swim with sharks in the worst way.

I can't this trip, though, I'm bleeding and i think that would cancel all the goodwill my many-toothed friends might have. I'm thinking of Dory with a nosebleed in Finding Nemo here. And i don't move that fast even on a good day.

I did have a moment of chagrin with Discovery channel because they kept showing dangerous shark-interaction behavior and never showed anyone getting their bodies torn apart. They intimated it would happen, but they never came through on the promise. Well, finally late last night they showed someone - one of their hosts - getting his leg torn asunder by a 'playful' shark. It 'playfully' took a nip at his very well-developed calf (apparently sharks are like horses and donkeys, they play with their teeth and they play hard) and once Tiburon (my nickname for Sharks of note) ripped a bit of the flesh and drew blood, it was on and poppin'.

The guy, a host for some Shark documentary who was super cool even at that point, got whipped around a bit on camera (many bubbles) and described how he had to lift up his leg to get it out of Tiburon's mouth. Then, they gave me the money shot. They showed the poor guy getting carried out of the water with shreds of flesh hanging where his knee, calf and achilles tendon used to be. When I say shreds, i want the reader of this humble blog to envision strings of flesh - say something like those beaded curtains that were so popular in the 70s. Tatters of flesh. Blood everywhere.

It was amazing. I appreciated the honesty of the coverage.

Well, I don't have any juicy gossip or news to share. I'm alive and thankful of it. Gonna turn on the tv and see if any more shark week coverage exists seeing as it's late Sunday night.

Mahalo

How Could I be inconspicous when my flow is fucking ridiculous?

Wow! I am sitting in First Class on DL22 Direct Service to Paris, France on my way to Cairo, Egypt. I am sitting next to the CEO of a Danish Medical Supply company, C. Jern, with whom I've wonderful conversation. I have to STEAL the menu to describe all I've had to eat - Eggplant Ravioli with spinach sauce - freaking antipasto with artichoke hearts, marinated tomatoes, peppers and kalamata olives. REALLY!
I watched The Italian Job and Family Guy. I've been sitting in this cozy seat with footrests and private lights smiling like someone's fool and feeling like the cat who ate the canary. This is how you vacation! Mrs. Carnegie this and Mrs. Carnegie THAT! Suzanne is my server - I wish I had brought Thank you cards with me. now I am listening to Esthero and eating an ice cream sundae. C. Jern is asleep next to me, stretched out. And i feel like I just heisted 40 million dollars from someone to pay my own way and no one else is the wiser. Lord help me! This is a million dollar moment for, like, $3.95 - literally.
I'm the only black person on this flight - or so it feels. C. Jern is a huge dude. Just tall. I should ask how tall. And i met a Dutch guy on the train who was 7'. I know this because he told me - he made a point of staring me down until he could catch up with me in the terminal and strike up conversation. Me and huge European guys chatting like old buddies! My sundae is haagen daas.
Owning my own business, building my own business i the best thing ever. And how come I've never paid attention - real attention - to the clothes at Target, which are cute, stylish, and very affordable. I have on a crisp white colored shirt that I bought for $17.99. F*ck the Gap and Banana Republic - They are soulless! I bought some gold lame Espadrilles today. They spoke to me despite my ragged toenail polish. It's as thought I've had Helen Gurley Brown's voice resonating through me for a week sinc ereally committing to her book of lettters. I pass by Sex and the Single Girl daily and i hear Helen saying "You don't have to be rich to be fabulous - just have imagination and learn how to have taste." I even got lip gloss from the flight. I just have to keep myself hydrated and i will be great.
I think instead of going through customs I will try to meet Beth at her gate. It's only 9:30 in Atlanta. I could call home and burn up all of my little money. We are staying at the ultra posh Conrad Hilton on the Nile River. My espadrilles will do nicely there, I think. I have my Ipod. I am humming so contentedly...it's a beautiful thing. I wore heels and little paraprofessional footies! Life is so amazing. So many wonderful twists, turns, and surprises. Thankfully the pharmacist let me know the malaria pills induce crazy dreams, which somewhat explains my freakout the other night. I like to flirt with danger, but maybe I'm finally emerging from the urge to Sleep with Danger. I always have such "Hi-i-i-igh Hopes" when i start a trip. I thnk travel makes everything sexy. It's still so much about wealth, exposure, opportunity, pure braininess. I just had to hold my smile in my own hands for a few moments. I am sleepy. i wonder what time it is in Paris. CDG is a madhouse. I should study some helpful french phrases before we land. But for now i think I shall sleep. It's a miracle I'm not asleep from all the wine I've had to drink already.
How excellent for me.