What in the Hot Holy Hell?

Okay, check this out:
http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/arts/AP-People-Beanie-Sigel.html

The only reason I clicked the link was because it said "Charges Dropped Against Rappper" and I incorrectly assumed they must've been talking about T.I.. I was listening to a T.I. song and thought I wouldn't mind hearing out the self-proclaimed "still drug dealer" managed to wiggle out of federal arms charges after attempting to purchase a few semi-automatic weapons before the BET Awards last weekend.

I was wrong. It's Beenie Siegel. And the story is f*cking hilarious. Apparently Beenie rented a 2007 Altima from Payless Car Rental. The first thing that pops into mind is the whole search process. "Man, I like them new Altimas. They hot." "yeah, look up online, go to travelocity or some shit and find me a place to rent one." "oky, Payless Car Rental, is that on Airport Road? Can you give me a ride over there?"

Then, Beenie exceeds his rental agreement. Now, the car rental company does what it do and kept charging his credit card on file. No problem. Then the rental was 20, 45 days overdue and they got a little concerned. So, they issued a warrant to reclaim the car and arrest Beenie. The day the police arrived to execute the warrant, the car was returned. Can you imagine the voicemail: "Mr. Siegel, this is Jeffrey at Payless Car Rental on Airport Road. We have moved forward with legal proceedings as you have failed to turn in the 2007 Nissan Altima in a timely fashion."

So, now my mind is wandering around the whole "was this a street cred thing?" For instance, did Beenie need an arrest to fuel album sales? Of course I have no interest in tracking his last album release, though some intrepid reader can do precisely that from the convenience of myspace, no less. I'm just wondering why anyone would allow themselve to be so monumentally hassled for no good reason. But, you know, musicians are notoriously flakey, and I don't mean that as a compliment.

That's today's laugh fest courtesy of the Associated Press. Also, Rolling Stone has a fun article on Perez Hilton. The writer worked hard to make Perez out as some sad sack loser pseudo-journalist, but you could tell (s)he was jealous to the teeth. They buried the fact that Perez generates about $250,000.00 a year from the site and has a degree from NYU in the second page. I'm sure Perez has paid off any student loans he may have generated (he was at NYU on scholarship, so maybe he came out in the clear as I did) and the writer will be paying Northwestern or Columbia School of Journalism or Missou well into the fourth decade of life.

All in all, Perez sounds awfully happy and satisfied with what he's doing and I give him kudos, he's found a passion and found people to pay him for it. That's a story with a very happy ending.