BATDANCE!!!

first and foremost, i would like to thank the lawd
jesus christ for bringing me through the darkness and
away from the

4-INCH BAT THAT WAS HANGING IN MY BEDROOM, THREATENING
TO EAT MY FACE OFF AND GIVE ME RABIES AND I CAN'T TAKE
RABIES SHOTS BECAUSE I CAN'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE HAPPEN
TO MY FREAKING STOMACH!!!!!

alright. so you guys have a sense of what i've been
through for the past 9-12 hours. there was a bat in my
room. i can still see the sweaty little bat imprint of
its body on my closet door. batty batty two by four!!!
finally this morning i whined enough to get my dad to
come and scoop it away. he put it on the deck. he
thinks it was a baby because it didn't scream out
loud, but kept opening its mouth and when he put it
outside it just lay on the deck, wings untucked but
not going anywhere.

last night, however, papa was in no mood to come rid
my room of the flying rodent and he suggested me and
caitlin do it. i'm yellow to the bone, so that idea
wasn't the hottest i'd ever heard, but i considered it
until cait told me how the last time a bat was removed
it screamed a high-pitched yell that echoed through
the house.

then i thought, well why can't we have the cats come
in and dispose of this problem for me. i was desperate
and willing to work past my animal dander allergy, i
couldn't find my benadryl but the hives go away after
about 6 horus anyway if i refuse to touch them. then
cait and i argued about which cat was best for the
job: there's orian, he's fat but she was voting for
him because he'll just kill the thing straight out,
not play with it. but he's fat and kinda slow. his
sister aurora is a lean, mean, killing machine. i
enjoyed the last time i saw her playing with her food,
a mole, she flipped that sucker 10 ft. into the air.
it was already dead. as i said, aurora is a killer.
she was also nowhere to be found.

now this whole time i was on the phone with rue and
james. i called james first, whispeerin gabout the bat
in my room (so as not to get the bat riled up) and he
whispered right back that it was going to bite me at
the first opportunity and suck out all my blood. isn't
love grand??? after about 45 minutes of his
brainwashing, i got off the phone terrified and called
rue, who i thought could appreciate the dire-ness of
my situation. she ran her boytoy off the phone as
FLYING RODENTS certainly trump everything else and she
was properly sympathetic, though she and caitling
tag-teamed my psyche on the whole "it's a rodent, not
a mammal, so no, you're not distantly related and it
probably has rabies thing.' after i was properly
undone, rue begged off the phone to return to the
boytoy communication activities.

so, after that, i laid in bed with my little sister
giggling loudly and we alternated who would creep into
my room to look at the bat. one time caitlin covered
her head with my towel and grabbed a stick and
tip-toed into the room. her eyes were so
wide...really, it was too funny for words. then, once
she got into the room and had closed the closet door,
this fool starts banging on the part where the rat is
and i'm shrieking (in a whisper) quit that, come back
here!!! and watchng for movement from my houseguest.
she starts cackling maniacally an di'm thinking
"great, the scaredy cat little sister is really just
crazy as all outdoors."

so that's my bat saga. it finally was resolve around
9:15 a.m. i am so sleepy. but i had to share.