100 days, 100 nights

Tomorrow I'm going to lay claim to some Cherry Red Espadrilles. Something about the color excites me. It's a wonderful substitute for the Python slingbacks I refuse to afford. I think of all the people on Kiva whom could prosper with a micro-loan worth 1/100th of the Slingbacks retail price and I shudder. Cherry Red Espadrilles, not so much shuddering. I can write it off as "self-nurturing." As Tara Lake told me once while we were fighting over a pink linen skirt at TJ Maxx - "Coogi-shop-aliya" determine your own retail future (or price Heh Heh Heh).

This month I skived work and checked out the King Tut exhibit. It was intriguing and I lingered like all hell over the jewelry. In a coincidence of fortune, LV has a collection of semi-precious stone jewelry that harkens to some of the lighter pieces from Tutankhamen's grave. Fortuitous? I think so.

It's been nearly one hundred days since last I wrote. I've been talking a lot, talking is a wonderfully dishonest method of communication. All of the noise blocks out the uncomfortable truths we wrestle with in our sleep.

My uncomfortable truths are piling up fast and hard. Ignorance really is bliss. I spent the past two years of my life walking on sunshine, singing Bananarama, and generally feeling at peace with the world. I miss those halcyon days.

I've been thinking about several career changes. It's Camille - I don't do static for any reason. The brain does not shut off. I suppose, more accurately, I'm thinking of expanding my career interests. Simultaneously expanding and narrowing. Entering new fields, but focusing on small areas within the new fields. It feels good to type that out loud.

I'm also a bit disappointed that my call center in Pakistan is having a lot of problems. Our call volume is largely to blame, but that means I'll have to start shopping call centers again, training management, and go through all the trial and error again. I prefer to the believe the first time is the worst so I may as well get on with it.

Well, I'll try to contribute with greater regularity, though I must warn, I'm not always pleasant.

To the surgeons who took from me what I didn't know I had

A dedication:

It's almost like you had it planned
It's like you smiled and shook my hand
And said "Hey, I'm about to screw you
Over big time"
And what was I supposed to do
I was stuck in between you
In a hard place
We won't talk about
The hard place

But I don't blame you anymore
Thats too much pain to store
It left me half dead
Inside my head
And boy, looking back I see
I'm not the girl I used to be
When I lost my mind
It saved my life

It's how you wanted it to be
It's like you played a joke on me
And I lost a friend in the end

And I think that I cried for days
But now that seems light years away
And I'm never going back
To who I was

'Cuz I don't blame you anymore
Thats too much pain to store
It left me half dead
Inside my head
And boy, looking back I see
I'm not the girl I used to be
When I lost my mind
It saved my life

I think I cried for days
But now that seems light years away
And I'm never going back
To who I was

'Cuz I don't blame you anymore
Thats too much pain to store
It left me half dead
Inside my head
And boy, looking back I see
I'm not the girl I used to be
When I lost my mind
It saved my life

That life seems like
Light years away, light years away

Golden Brown Angel

Well, here I am in the country. It's a good life. I like the emails. I'm probably more fond of the animals than anything. They are so lovvvvving. All lovvey dovey without any expectations whatsoever.

The little sister counts as an animal. LOL.

I don't sleep at my house. I wonder why that is. There was the whole "leaf-blower" incident yesterday morning at 7:30 am. Such an early hour seems a ridiculous time to have trim work done around the external of the building, beneath my bedroom window. But hey, I may have just been cranky. I doubt it though.

Not too much going on this way. This month's (belatedly started) project: Start a new business! Last month I wrote a novel. I suppose I don't know how to do things in a small way. We'll see how this turns out. I've told my biz partner I don't want to meet in person any longer, but that will shift. It's just, right now, you know, meetings are productive. While he's a joy to behold, one can only do so much looking before the shiny rubs right on off and you become immune to the accented handsomeness across from you. I'd rather be surprised and struck dumb for 3-5 seconds once every other month.

I placed an ad to replace that roguish employee of mine and in 10 hours I've amassed 400 resumes. I will evaluate them in small bites. It brought home for me the fact that this economy is *really fucked up.* However, for every door that is closed, a window opens. In addition to people peeling off jobs like clothes in South Florida, there has also been a reduction of dependence on credit by corporations and individuals. I think I rhapsodized in the past about LayAway making a comeback. The idea that people will own things again, things they work hard to buy with out an attendant 30% interest rate is entirely too exciting for me.

I don't think the Auto Industry merits a bailout, but let them have this cash now, everyone needs a little cash to see them out the door. I think they would be more innovative, much more quickly, if they were left to fend for themselves without this particular infusion of funds - the CEOs would go out the door and the Boards would get deeply creative in solving their problems. Such is life, one day they will pay the piper.

Does anyone else love Burn It Blue from the Frieda Kahlo soundtrack? That Lila Downs give me goosebumps!